You Know You’re a Mom When…
Being a mom is amazing, but it’s also filled with many less than glamourous moments. You know you’re a mom when…
- You wake up at 3:45am with a soother in your mouth.
- You realize you’ve gone out in public wearing your Crocs, again!
- Someone finally tells you (late in the afternoon of course) that you have spit up stains down your back.
- You don’t care that you have spit up stains down your back.
- You realize that your boobs have leaked leaving perfect wet round circles on your chest.
- You don’t care that your boobs have leaked and your shirt is wet, you go out anyway.
- You refer to yourself in the third person. Mommy is hungry, mommy has to pee, mommy is tired, mommy needs a break, please don’t hit or bite mommy.
- Your breakfast lunch and dinner consist of pretty much whatever you kid left on his plate. A few soggy spoons of cereal, some hard grilled cheese sandwich squares, bread crusts, cold broccoli, a half eaten apple.
- There is no shame in eating food off the floor, from the carseat, the couch or even half chewed food from your kid’s mouth.
- There is no 5-second rule for the first born. Everything get’s sterilized. For the second kid it’s the 10-second rule.
- Your mind goes completely and totally blank when the barista asks you if she can take your order.
- You found the milk in the cupboard and the Mum Mum’s in the fridge, on more than one occasion.
- A trip to the grocery store alone is like a vacation
- Peeing alone is a luxury.
- You consider yourself lucky if you get a shower a few times a week.
- You used to think that the Drive Through was only for lazy people but now you totally get it!
- You now know the location of every Drive Through in the city.
- You’re constantly thinking about STUFF. Where you might park to make it easiest to get two kids to playgroup, how you are going to get milk and go to the bank while only stopping once, what you are going to make for dinner, what you need to get done today….
- You drink coffee from the crack of dawn until noon and then you wonder if it’s too early for wine.
- You spend every single day cleaning and cleaning and cleaning yet the house is messier than ever before.
- You’ve reached down an air conditioning vent to pluck out a log of poo, or you’ve transported poo in your bare hands from some other random place to the toilet.
- You talk constantly about poo and pee and barf and even get into the details about the consistency and frequency and colour of the poo and pee and barf.
- You’ve cleaned up pee from every possible location.
- You know that pretty much every surface in the entire world has probably been peed on by a kid at some point.
- You’ve wiped up some kind of food from the walls and windows, even the ceiling.
- You know that if it is quiet, something is wrong.
- You’ve never been this tired in your life, EVER.
- You think 8pm is a normal time for an adult to go to bed.
- You can sleep through your husband’s snoring, a cat fight, even a fire alarm but the second your little one makes a peep you’re wide awake.
- You put yourself last.
- You hold your pee for a really really really really really really long time.
- You catch yourself smelling other kids pants to see who pooped.
- You drive around aimlessly for hours on end so your kid can nap in the car.
- There is no such thing as a uninterrupted dinner, ever.
- Your purse is filled with toys, wipes, crayons, tissues, toy cars, apple cores, fish crackers and crumbs.
- You know every single thing about your kids: Weight, height, how many teeth they have, what they like to eat, what temperature they like their milk at, what shape to cut their sandwiches in.
- You can’t jump on trampolines anymore because…
- You can’t sneeze anymore without…
- You know that being a mom is the hardest job in the entire world, in the history of ever.
You’d never change it for anything.
2 Responses to “You Know You’re a Mom When…”
The best part of being a mom is payback time! Also the most rewarding! So proud of my superstar!
Yup! Although, I wake up to every little noise now expecting it to be a kid in need!!